OK, I’m a Geezer. I know I’m over my head trying to blog about the most famous museum in the world. I know that most Professors in the humanities shouldn’t write a blog about visiting the Louvre but no one I know of has written a blog from the Geezer prospective so here goes.
Rule One: Wear your favorite walking shoes because you’re going to cover some ground.
Rule Two: All the cafes serve wine, enough said.
Rule Three: Treat this monster place like a German Chocolate Cake and only plan on devouring a very small part of the experience in every trip.
Rule Four: Get the little talking gizmo that tells you what you’re looking at and spend twenty minutes figuring it out and then let your 13 year old granddaughter show you how it works. If you don’t have your own 13 year old borrow someone else’s because the talking gizmo is cool but not Geezer friendly.
Rule Five: Limit your liquid consumption the toilets are few and far between.
Rule Six: Establish a place to meet you’re group and a time because someone is going to wonder off.
Rule Seven: Get there early and beat the lines.
Rule Eight: Don’t try to plan too many things to see during your day you will kill yourself going from one big display like the Mona Lisa to another. Live in the moment, and remember every thing you stumble into is a treasure and worth stopping and learning about.
OK Geezers if you follow these rules you may be OK but keep in mind there are obstacles you will encounter at the Louvre. Here is a list of the obstacles I personally had to endure:
One: the turf is tough. All the floors are stone and many are uneven stone so keep those favorite walking shoes in mind.
Two: The Louvre has stairs on its stairs so be ready to climb a lot of stairs. There are elevator but they are, like the bathrooms, few and far between.
Three: This bad boy is big. I’m talking real big. I’m talking if you wonder thru a few doors that say staff only and find your self in a dark damp room you better have left some bread crumbs!
Four: As big as the Louvre is, it can be very crowded especially around exhibits like the Mona Lisa and the Mummy. Yes sports fans they have a real mummy.
Five: Take a couple of deep breaths and prepare your self. Remember those old anxieties about being abandoned? Get a grip, you are going to get lost. All the maps in the world won’t save you. Bread crumbs wont save you. You will get lost. The cool thing to keep in mind is, you are lost in the Louvre and you won’t be bored, just lost.
Six: Time flies. You know that old adage, “time flies when your having fun,” well if you’re meeting your wife at 5:00 and have a 7:00 dinner reservation don’t be surprised if you are late for both.
Even though at the end of your Louvre adventure your feet hurt, your bladder is bursting and some of those old abandonment issues are coming to the surface you will just want to see one more room. Be careful, like the Twilight Zone, at the Louvre you can be lost in time and space.
I bet you think I’m not taking this blog about the Louvre serious. You’re right how could I. I was lost for five hours. I lost Charlene and Alyssia after only two hours and was late to meet them at our designated meeting spot. I had to stick my aching feet in the air for 2 hours just to get the swelling down.
I stood in line for so long trying to get into a toilet I made 3 new friends. Yes, the Louvre has its perils but I had a blast.
If you go to Paris, you have to go to the Louvre! That’s it: you have to go!